Sora's blood and Riku's heart
by nanarianari
Summary: Being in a school where Homosexuality is accustom, having a mom in jail and having feeling for your own brother. Sora has a lot on his plate and it all pulls the last thread of sanity. So what happens when that thread breaks. SoraXRiku


Okay this is my first kingdom hearts fic so hope you like it **WARNING:** this is a shonen-ai fic so if you don't like boy and boy action than get to steppin. but other than that I hope you guys like it.

**Sora's Blood and Riku's Heart  
**

There was no doubt about it, there were numerous of times they have encountered each other alone in a room. Eyes would linger upon one another and the whole time, a thick air of yearning lingered in one boy's eyes. He could have said something, he could have made a move, but once the person he loved so much had confessed an undesirable wanting towards other men, Sora's hopes were lost. It was incomprehensible as to why; all of a sudden he would say such a thing out of now where. Did he know Sora's intentional feelings towards him? Or was it some kind of gut feeling that everyone had, a thing just to talk about.

Sora put his book down and deliberated for a moment. Were things so foreseeable that Riku would tell Sora ahead of time, that a relationship was out of the question? _Am I that easy to see through? It's as if he knows me to well. Does he notice how much I love him or…_

Thinking anything more was inadequate because Riku made up his mind. He had a girlfriend and was the most respectable, extrovert person in school. No one dared to question his actions, even if they were contemptible to others, he just did what he had to do and that was it.

His thoughts went rampage and he didn't even notice eyes peering upon him, wondering why Sora mumbled to himself. The scene was out of the ordinary for Riku to see but as he slammed his book close, those mumbled words came to a halt and, startled cerulean eyes glanced his way.

"You look crazy talking to yourself. What's in that mind of yours?" Riku propped himself on his elbows and waited for Sora to answer. Being disturbed by uncounted whispers, made the story he was so interested in become sour in the matter of seconds. He hated noises while he was reading; he would go through mountains of questions to make them all stop.

" Sorry I didn't mean to disturb you."

Riku laid back on his bed and shrugged. "Your not sorry. People who say they're sorry are pitiful, because if they were sorry they wouldn't have done it in the first place."

Sora glared at his unwanted statement. He apologized for heaven's sakes, people aren't perfect and if they were they would just be conceited bastards. That was the only fault that Riku had, his vindictive comments always landed Sora into a corner, but it didn't matter. Sora still loved him for him and his bitter attitude.

"So what were you thinking about? Anything interesting?"

Sora shook his head. "Nothing really."

"If it was nothing than you wouldn't have bothered me by mumbling. So what was it?"

Sora entwined his fingers together in a nervous manner. There were numerous of lies he could have said but his mind drew to a blank.

"Um I can't say what I was thinking about. I just lost it."

Riku cocked an eyebrow and shook his head in disappointment. "At least tell me you got some reading done before you went and day dreamed."

"Y-Yeah I did. I got to page 105."

"Oh really and I went up to 200." He said sarcastically. There was no way someone like Sora could pass him in reading. In truth, Riku always thought of Sora as his rival and hearing that he went up to 105 while Riku was at page 79 was a disgrace for his part. But as he sat up and looked him straight in the eye, Sora looked away, giving Riku doubt about his words.

"So you really went up to 105?" Riku inquired. "So _hither_."

He almost laughed at the confused look in Sora's eyes and that took the cake. Riku knew for the matter of fact that he didn't read the book or even started.

"What are you talking about?"

Riku tossed his book to the ground and stuffed his hands into his pocket. "Page 1, paragraph 2, hither means to come. It's a word off of Shakespeare you dork. I knew you were a liar. I don't know why you have to keep things from me."

Sora flinched as Riku went out and closed the door. He was a compulsive liar in Riku's eyes but then when you love someone, you can't always tell them the truth. It would either hurt them or yourself.

He wanted more than anything to impress Riku, saying he read a lot and was dedicated into their afternoon readings together, but it just backfired.

Riku was a guy and Sora loved him but when this love goes over gender and into religion. Who can blame Sora for being so guilty? Because not only was his love for a guy but it was for his own brother as well.

"Why can't you be with me Riku?"

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"A new year is coming up folks and that means new resolutions! Is there a special lover in mind? Do you want to show your new profound love to them? Well, start off fresh because the annual festival is coming up soon so be ready!"

The intercom blared and as it switched off, every boy in the classroom talked to one another. Which guy was going with what guy? Was there a new homo in school? Who was straight and who was not? That's what everyone talked about because it was an all boys' school after all.

" You're straight right Sora?"

Sora nodded and sighed. "Of course I am, can you guy's stop asking."

"Well it's not our fault okay. These guys are all out to get you I mean having this being an all boy's school makes things a little, so to say… wait how can I put this in better words." Roxas, Sora's close cousin covered his eyes with his hands, attempting to put together more sensible words to explain the situation. But as he grasped his thoughts an annoyance flung his arms around his neck.

"Hey Roxas, my love, my one and only, my-"

"Shut up Axel, you just lost my train of thought you dumbass."

"You're so cruel Roxas, but I heard part of your conversation so I can finish it for you." He turned toward Sora with a blunt look on his face and continued. "Well what my love was saying-"

"I'm not your lover!!!" Roxas exclaimed but Axel ignored Roxas's incredulous words and attempted to continue again.

"Roxas was saying that because you say your straight it puts a damper on many guys in this school. I mean look at your face: your eyes are blue which matches with your auburn locks and your girly profile. You look so much like Roxas and that's a good thing because you two look so feminine, which makes every guy in school horny for you."

Sora slammed his hands on the table, which startled the whole class. Eyes were on them but Sora didn't have a thread of patience to notice.

"What is that supposed to mean!! How can you say that, you bastard!"

"It's not my fault you look the way you look."

Sora rolled his eyes at his choice of words. Axel was always described as an idiot and being who he is, Sora didn't take other people's words seriously until this day.

"You're a dumbass. I'm straight! I don't like any guy in this damn school because I am one!! I don't even know why all you guys are turning into HOMOS!!!"

Half of the class was either dead silent because of the sudden out burst from a once collectible person and the other half was completely stricken by the words that came out of his mouth. There were countless of Homosexuals in the class and for Sora being a dunce, he never even imagine the people who could have been offended.

Though even with some glares here and there, Sora stormed out of the classroom regardless of the teacher yelling after him. Lunch was going to start in 5 minutes anyways, so with that plastered in his mind he headed down the hall. Outside of the school, a tree that granted shade from the sun motioned him to sit and release all anxiety caused by Axel.

It wasn't his idea to attend an all boys' school. Just because this school was prestigious and Riku was accepted to study there for free, Sora was accustomed to follow Riku wherever he went, did, and said. Everyone wanted him to be like his older brother and with that pressure there were times where Riku comforted him. He knew to well how others treated Sora for his mistakes and how much pressure he got for Riku's accomplishments. All of this kindness in the past resulted in an undying need to be close to Riku, to be with him and to love him no matter what the cost was. And even if there love wasn't mutual, Sora was still understanding of the situation. He always found it in his heart just to never give up hope.

When his mind drifted into endless thoughts of random incidents of Riku and him self together in the past, the wind seemed to pick up. As it said on the intercom, a new year was coming soon and Sora will face it head on. Even if darkness seemed to lurk near, there was still a speck a light in his heart that will never go out. Telling him that hope was still there.

"Sorry about Axel, he can be such an idiot sometimes."

He didn't open his eyes but decided to just hear what Roxas had to say. "It's alright."

"No I'm really sorry Sora. I know how much you hate this school and-"

"It's not like a hate this school, it's just the people in it. I'm not use to this open expression of love coming at me so fast. I know how they feel as to not having the same feelings of love for them. I have someone that I love most, but than that special person doesn't know how I feel. I can say 'I love you' but than that might hurt me more than not knowing if we feel the same way. Do you get it?" Sharing these feelings he coped up inside for so long was a sense of releasing he never felt before. To have people listen to his problems was the only thing he had right now, the only thing that made Sora actually feel better.

Roxas on the other hand had no idea how to resolve his cousin's grief. He wasn't the type of person who can give good advice or had the sense of mind to say anything to it. After he settled down next to Sora, Roxas took a deep breath and recollected his thoughts.

"I bet it's a girl at Sekkeki high. Right? Well I don't know what to do for your part. Just bring her to the festival and everything will be okay."

"But she has a boyfriend." Sora wanted more info, more, so to say, advice for his own problems with his feelings toward his own brother. As his eyes remained close, Sora pictured a happy time with Riku when they were children. If only there was a possible way to grasp those times again. To have that happiness without no doubt that anything was going to go wrong. But it was the real world and the generalization was simple. The world can be cruel, and to gain happiness you have to feel pain.

"I don't know Sora. I'm your cousin, I'm a guy who likes other guy's and you must hate me for that but-"

"I don't hate you Roxas. What made you think that?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're statement in class. You know, half of the class was actually offended by what you said and that led me to think. Do you hate me because of the things I do. You saw me in the halls. Me and Axel kissing and-"

"Okay I get the picture."

"Well anyways, to get to the point. I thought you said those things because you hated how I chose to live. I'm gay and I can't help it but the one thing that actually affects me is what you think about me. If others hate me than I either ignore it or say 'screw you' but than if you said that you didn't like me and was actually disgusted by me, I would actually die."

The cold truth sent chills down his spine. Anger took hold of him so fast that he never realized the people around him that were listening. Apology was in order but before that, Sora wanted to answer Roxas truthfully. That Sora was actually the same way with love and the choice of gender he fell in love with. But having that option to tell Roxas there and then got him to ponder on the negative reaction with both Roxas and the other guys in his class.

Roxas was a big mouth and finding out that his cousin was a homosexual would make the school go on a rampage.

"I don't hate you. You're my cousin and I accept you for who you are, I just don't want to be in the crowd your in."

It was the truth; he didn't want to be involved with anyone except for Riku. Though with the subject completely cut off with silence, Sora got to his feet and stared up at the clouds. The serene moment allowed Sora to reflect on everything that had been going on, hate, love, admiration, and blood. How could these elements dig deep within him and how does it seem to kill him slowly. It was the cause of one person, one special person in his life that he loved very much.

"Roxas."

He looked toward him. Sora's remorseful expression choked Roxas as he waited for him to say something. That look alone led him to have a speck of acknowledgement as to what the next subject they were going to talk about, was going to be. Roxas averted his eyes to the floor and weakly answered. "What is it?"

" My mother. Why did she go to jail? Why was she covered with blood? You never answered me and when I tried to ask Riku, he avoided the subject and went to another one. I don't understand why she went away or what she did."

The subject was always the hardest thing to talk about. But having to ask the question constantly after 8 subliminal years was harder for him. Having that one question lurk in his mind for many years had everyone around him grow distant. Roxas didn't know how to answer. He shrugged and stood beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't think about it to much. You still have your dad and Riku with you so don't think about her."

Sora nodded but there was still this deep thought of wonderment. She was her mother and no matter what she did, he didn't deserve to live without her for so many years. Why would they take her away from him? Why? It seemed like his life was full of unanswered questions. No one answered him and it seemed his life was lived on confusion and sadness. But formidable as it was to live out his life without his mother was replenish with a little happiness, knowing that Riku was with him everything seemed to lighten up a bit.

Please god…..

Let my mother come back to me

Let my unforeseen future be plagued with happiness

And let darkness vanish forever in my heart.

Amen 

The little prayer triggered the bell to ring and Roxas was force to leave Sora alone. "You're going to get in trouble if you stay out here."

"I know. I just want to stay out here for a little longer. I'll see you later Roxas."

Absolute worry was for Sora, and as Roxas walked away he looked over his shoulder only to see tears gathering in Sora's eyes. Unconsciously, Roxas stopped in his tracks and turned on his heels. Every fiber of his being wanted to stay with Sora and he was going to do so, if it wasn't for a hand on his shoulder that prevented him from taking a step forward.

"Go to class Roxas. You don't want to be in trouble now do you?"

"When are you going to tell him Riku?"

Pushing pass him, Riku approached Sora calmly and with a branch crumbling under Riku's feet, Sora quickly wiped his tears away. The sight of his older brother was not only surprising but also embarrassing. He wanted to be a man that can handle any dilemma, not this crying wimp.

"So what's wrong now?" Riku started with a huff.

"Nothing."

"I saw you crying so it can't be nothing."

"Why do you have to know? You're always pestering into my business and I don't want that. Just leave me alone."

Riku flinched at Sora's harsh words but didn't comply with his wishes. He didn't want to resolve anything with violence but his hand vigorously curled around Sora's arm, slamming his back into the tree.

"What are you-"

"If you don't tell me what's going on I'll punch you in the gut. Now tell me." Those bold eyes were terrifying to look at. Sora knew he would go to any extent to get what he wanted, so Sora gave up. With a deep breath, Sora looked straight into his eyes and pushed him away. Surprisingly, Riku stepped back but closely kept an eye on him.

"It's mom okay. Are you happy now? I asked Roxas about Mom and why-"

"Didn't I tell you not to talk about that despicable woman? She's gone, so stop plundering on the past and look towards the future."

He didn't know why it made him so angry. There was no explanation at all. _Why did Riku hate mom so much? Why did he have to say that and hurt me?_

"How can I live a future without mom by our side. Why do you have to always be like this when I talk about her? She's our mother. I can't help it if I want to know why she went away. You know something right? Why don't you just tell me brother? Tell me why she went to prison?"

Riku's eyes seemed vacant for a moment. Whether to tell Sora the truth or not had him lost, and guilt shrouded him. This wasn't fair.

"Shut up. Like I know why that woman went to prison. I don't even want to think of her. She's a bitch that deserves to stay in prison or for the matter of fact. She should go to hell."

Sora always dealt with his cruel word. He always stood in the shadows and let his words pierce through him, but now he took those words to heart and reacted. Sora tackled him to the ground and closed his hand into a tight fist, getting ready to strike at him once they both hit the floor. It was an event that happened so fast that Sora could feel that he wasn't himself. That anger took over and acted for him.

With there eyes met with one another, Sora had the opportunity to punch him repeatedly but his fist halted in mid air, inches away from his face. Riku's monotonous expression froze his fist completely. He loved him but his mother meant the world to him as well. So what was he going to do? Punch Riku and never speak to him again?

"I don't know why you have so much concern for that woman. It sickens me." Riku remained gazing up towards his little brother in anger.

Sora who had another wave of anger running through him, had to restrain him self from punching the living daylights out of him. His hand that curled around his shoulder had tightened as Sora opened his mouth.

"I hate you brother. Why do you have to say such despicable things? I hate you!"

A smile appeared on Riku's lips and he pleasantly sighed. "So Sora. You love that woman. How typical and disappointing at the same time. If only you knew."

"Knew what? Tell me!!!"

"Why should I? You hate me don't you, but I'll give you this. If you answer me one simple question than I'll answer all yours. Up for it little brother."

That smile sent chills down Sora's spine. It led him to believe that Riku was up to something but wondering what he was thinking, wasn't going to get him nowhere. So he nodded. "I'll answer anything."

With a chuckle, Riku Pushed Sora off of him and looked toward the sky. "So you hate me and you love her. So who would you kill?"

"What?"

"You heard me. If you had to kill someone who would you kill? Me or that dreadful woman you call a mother?"

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So how was it. Got any suggestions? tell me or if it was not so good than tell me that to. Hope you liked it.


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